College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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