his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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