u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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