you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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