So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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