He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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