Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
