I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
