first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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