I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize