Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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