it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
