I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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