i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
