His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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