I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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