Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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