She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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