..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
