My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
