AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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