doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize