Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
