There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
People in love make me want to vomit
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Someone came in the potted fern
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
