Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
