Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
