physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
