I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
