My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
