I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
