How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My bed smells like the plague
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
