so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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