sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
