yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
