standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
