Kiss
Puke
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize