i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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