Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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