put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize