does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
