Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
