Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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