remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
