FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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