He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
