The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize