I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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