If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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