That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
