Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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