After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i want to swaddle you in tequila
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
