every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Fuck appropriateness.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
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