Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
