I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
