If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
