This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
