Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
