Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
