woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
