Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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