So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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